Damn you all to hell!
Free
Insanity Test! Just
click here,
sit back, and within about an hour or so, you'll know if you're
crazier than a coffinload of rabid, half-starved voles! What's
that? You want to do yet another online test? Okay, well, there's
this one you can do. It tells you whether you're gonna grow up
to be a programming language inventor, or a serial killer! Guaranteed!
If you ask somebody to hit you over the head with a skateboard, and then that person hits you over the head with a skateboard - cracking your skull open and killing you - who is morally at fault for your death? I don't really have an opinion on this, but at least some good came out of teenage idiot Michael C. Aubuchon's valiant sacrifice. Because of him, we now know that, in a pinch, you can use a skateboard to kill a guy!
According
to this story, Daytona Beach police have arrested a 19-year-old
man for allegedly pulling a gun on a young couple who were sleeping
in a park, then ass-raping the man in his girlfriend's car! Kinda
makes you wonder if the rapist was gay, or if he was really just
near-sighted?
"Just
because there are a few people at this electronic voting machine
manufacturing company who got caught pledging to do everything
in their power to see to it that a specific candidate gets elected,
that's no reason to disqualify our company from the submitting
a bid to provide the state with proprietary, no-audits-permited,
black-box vote- counting software!" It's a darn good thing
for some very powerful people that nobody gives a damn about this sort of thing anymore.
Every
12th of September, our Japanese friends celebrate Respect for
the Aged Day, a holiday during which people are encouraged to
spend time with their elderly family members, as well older folks
who might not have a family. This is one of the most popular holidays
in Japan, second only to Lust for Young Schoolgirls Day, which
falls on the 13th of September, and which kicks off a 364 day
festival of buying used panties from vending machines, renting
super-violent hardcore schoolgirl porno cartoons, and downloading
upskirt shots of Sailor Moon from the Internet.
Why
do so many people suffer from mindstipation, and do nothing to
rectify the damage?
From
the Orwellian
Total Information Awareness program to the
utterly psychotronic Brain-Machine Interface Program,
with a brief detour past John Poindexter's abortive, incredibly
stupid plan for a Terror Futures Market,
the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Programs Agency (DARPA)
has recently emerged as the best hatchery for "ideas men"
to go and safely incubate their pet monsters in the service of
God and Country, all on the public dime.
What's that you say? It's my Christian duty to
pledge to go on a fast for Preznit Dubya?! Oh yeah! I'll get right
on that. How I regret not being born American.
It has recently been revealed that terrorist Ramsi
Yousef, who was part of the ring of Islamo-fascist twats who tried
and failed to bring down the World Trade Center back in '93, used
to communicate with fellow wastes of skin Timothy "Oklahoma
City bomber" McVeigh and Theodore "Unabomber" Kaczynski
at Colorado's Supermax Federal Prison, when the three of them
left solitary confinement for their half-hour per day of walking
outside in their respective 5x20 cages. I don't know about you
folks, but I smell a fabulous sitcom idea in this!
So
it was TRUE ALL ALONG! After two years of back-and-forth, all
the denials and qualifications and flim-flammery have been exposed
as LIES, now that one of Preznit Dubya's top security advisors
(recently retired) has finally admitted to the New York Times that YES,
the Saudi royal family was given permission by the White House
to charter a jumbo jet and hop around the country collecting Arab
V.I.P.s - including a number of Osama bin Laden's blood relations
- while the groveling groundlings were stranded with their feet
on solid ground under a nationwide ban on air travel! You know,
for a while there, despite the fact that I could clearly remember
hearing about this incident shortly after it happened, even I
was beginning to doubt myself. I went so far as to make it a point
to correct other people when they'd bring up this story. "No,"
I'd say, unconsciously putting out lies and spin and manufactured
conventional wisdom. "That plane didn't fly during the flight
ban. Those people were allowed to escape soon after the flight-ban,
which is distressing enough without exaggerating!" Well,
it turned out I was wrong, and the farthest-of-the-far conspiracy
theorists were correct again, disturbingly. Ain't that a bitch?
I mean ain't
that a BITCH?!?
