Recently, Barbara Bush - beloved grandmother to the Preznit - ripped her chains up out of the floor, smashed her way out of her reinforced bedroom in the White House basement, and delivered a message of hostile belittlement to the would-be usurpers of her grandson's hereditary claim to America's throne. "So far, they are a pretty sorry group if you want to know my opinion," raged the matronly Barbara before stuffing a live squirrel into her mouth and slowly chewing it, bones and all, into a gritty mush she would later regurgitate down the throats of her ever-famished brood. Unfortunately, before a follow-up question could be asked, Barbara was loping down Pennsylvania avenue, chasing her left eyeball, which had just come rocketing out of her head with a champagne-bottle POP! Later reports that she'd climbed the Washington Monument naked have proven to be greatly exaggerated. She was wearing combat boots and mirror-shades at the time.

I don't really have much to say about this BBC story detailing the recent discovery of a pre-historic "squat, grumpy blob." I just really like the headline. It fills my head with visions of four-eyed, lab coat-sporting eggheads dancing joyously as they're led through a fantastical surrealist wonderland by a giant purple Muppet playing a Pan flute! The Purple Frog's head is surrounded by a halo of butterflies, and he has my everlasting soul trapped in a Skippy peanut butter jar he keeps stuffed up his mauve felt tuchus. But do you give a damn?! NooOOooo...

Do you think Preznit Dubya is pissed at all those soldiers who selfishly got blown to bits, committed suicide,
or publicly admitted that things in Iraq are turning to shit during the exact same week that the White House launched a full-spectrum PR assault aimed at getting the American people on board with the PNAC agenda? Or does he save his rage for his underlings, who appear to be as incompetent and clueless as their boss?

I mean, seriously… planting hundreds of glowingly positive letters from the Iraqi front in small-town newspapers across America in the same week that a broad survey of the troops by the military magazine Stars and Stripes shows that morale is at an all-time low, that their training prior to the Iraqi occupation was insufficient, and that most current personel don't plan on reenlisting?! That's just plain unprofessional propagandizing!

"The Vatican may, as Stalin said, have no divisions, but the Pope's customary riposte is forceful: that he has no need of them. He exerts power over states that acknowledge his authority, from Ireland to the Philippines, and over a billion proclaimed adherents. He has power. This power may, according to papal theology, be accountable in the world hereafter. But it is exerted in the here and now. Here and now should it be judged."

- Here and now, it has been judged, and found wanting. At least, Simon Jenkins of the Times Online UK has found it wanting.

And as long as we are on a related subject, Chris Hootchens thinks Mother Theresa was a total bitch!

"We are ready because we prefer to die now than always to be suffering."

- Native opposition leader Efrain Mancilla Maicu expresses frustration at the worsening political situation in Bolivia, where 86 people have died in recent weeks during protests against President Gonzalo Sanchez de Lozada. This is like one of those ignored stories Project Censored keeps whining about.