Beethoven,Coke,Hitler,SARS,beatings
The 74-minute standard capacity for an audio compact disc was decided upon so that Ludwig van Beethoven's magnificent Ninth (and final) Symphony - considered by many to be the absolute zenith of symphonic composition - could be enjoyed in a single sitting. Similarly, the 7-Eleven corporation decided upon 32 oz. as the volume for their Big Gulp drink based on the maximum capacity of the average human bladder. Over the years, as bladder tolerances increased - and diabetes statistics skyrocketed - the Super Big Gulp and the Double Gulp were introduced. Extrapolating current trends, by the year 2017, you should be able to buy the Final Gulp, a soda drink so immense, you can have your bloated, waterlogged carcass buried in the cup after you die, which should be within 7 to 11 minutes of finishing your drink.
"The idea behind futile care goes like this: The patient wants life-sustaining treatment; the physician does not believe the quality of the patient's life justifies the costs to the health institution or the physical and emotional burdens of care; therefore, the doctor is entitled to refuse further treatment (other than comfort care) as futile or inappropriate. Treatments withheld under this policy might include antibiotics to treat infection, medicines for fever reduction, tube feeding and hydration, kidney dialysis or ventilator support."
- This chilling San Francisco Gate story by Wesley Smith yanks the lid off the "futilitarian" trend which has slowly and surreptitiously been gaining influence - and momentum - in the medical community.
Some overly-sensitive types are getting their hoohahs in a twist, just because the Hong Kong division of the Coca-Cola company is promoting their product by giving away little plastic figurines, one of which is adorned with the ancient Asian swastika "good luck" symbol which today is mostly associated with Germany's fascist and genocidal Nazi party. This is almost as bad as the time a Taiwanese ad campaign for German heaters used a cartoon Hitler to sell their wares
In a weirdly ironic turn of events, doctors in China have noticed that hospitalized patients suffering from AIDS seem to have been spared the ravages of the SARS virus, even as healthy doctors and nurses have succumbed to the brutal, influenza-like disease. Apparently it has something to do with the fact that your body's reaction to SARS ends up being worse than the virus, itself, so if your body isn't able to fight it, you're good to go! So, basically, all you have to do if you're worried about catching SARS is find the filthiest public restroom in the gay neighbourhood nearest you, lick the crusty drippings off the bowl, and wait for someone to sneak up from behind and pack your fudge.
A word of advice! If you're a bus driver who ferries "special needs" kids around town, and all the screaming and whining fills you with a sudden urge to put the bus in park, stomp to the back seats, and mercilessly whup the living tar out of a defenceless nine-year old boy with Down's Syndrome, better make sure the kid doesn't have a tape recorder running in his back-pack, first. Otherwise, you might get yourself into a whole mess o' trouble.