Ruminations on twenty-oh-five

Well it's that time of year when I look back at the failings of another twelve months and realise that despite the lurking figure of Death over my shoulder I still haven;t got it right

To be fair, I have spent most of my life putting my trust in people who have repaid me with betrayal, so I'm not wholly to blame. And the few who haven't have moved on to better people.

I don't make resolutions anymore as I know my own weaknesses won't allow them to prosper, but I have been straight edge for nearly 3 years now, so that's the one thing I'm trying to keep on keeping on.

It was also a year of change as I worked my way through several new jobs - although I have pretty much given up on trying to work out what I want to do with my life. With all the original Temptations dead, there's not much chance of me getting to sing the Dennis Edwards parts anymore, so the only real dream I ever had is gone. Of course my lack of blackness, dancing ability and mediocre voice probably scuppered that quite some time ago.

So now I'm reduced to sitting around waiting for death, hoping for the occasional glimmer of pleasure.

I have met one or two new people this year, who've touched my grinch like heart, but have no intention of tainting them with the poisoned chalice of friendship, so I'll just admire from afar, a faint warm glow, enough to convince me that they really do exist.

Altogether now, I do believe in friendship, I do believe in friendship.

The thoughts of death are always stronger around now, but oddly, not as close as they were this last time last year, when I had it all planned out properly. So, I might make it to spring after all.

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