Have no friends - they will only try and help you out with 'constructive criticism', 'keeping you on the right path' and other ways of implying that they are as good, if not better than you, when this is quite patently wrong. Dump them now, quick and easy. Number 2 next week.
On a similar note, some have enquired on my manuscript for taking over the world. The 8 simple rules are below - the full manuscript is locked away in a safe deposit box;
This weeks recommended CD is "Matt Woods - Something Surreal"...
If you have a yen for the adult oriented rock so popular in the colleges of North America, then this is the CD for you. Working in the same idiom as Counting Crows, Matchbox 20 and the Barenaked Ladies, young buck Matt Woods has the voice and the songs to lift him up the ladder..
Rules for ruling the world
1) Probably the most important rule to follow when trying to steer the nation in the correct direction - Distance the administration in order to remain in a favourable light to the governed populace, this increases odds of success, and the complacent population easily convinced of anything necessary. The scapegoat is forever important and you must have an enormous bureaucracy in place to keep blame far enough away from the top that it is never touched.
2) Distraction. Now you can do this anyway you like, and there are plenty of topics from which to choose. education is always a good one, and of course environmental issues are divisive topics that can be easily used. Always referring back to rule number 1, and don't forget to start an unnecessary war now and then against countries too weak to fight back.
3) Keep the lower economic strata and the older generation complacent, fed, and well medicated (national welfare, healthcare and the black market are necessary components).
4) Control education and the dissemination of knowledge from outside sources. Make sure you only teach what will fit neatly with the message of the state, a dissenting voice can often mean disaster for any fledgling regime; make sure to keep foreign scholars from being heard on a national level by keeping them out of your country and off your country�s mass media outlets.
5) It is always highly important in a country of any substantial size to control the free movement of the population. In order to keep the attentions from the administration create/manipulate the situation so that it looks as if private industry is to blame. ID cards and internal passports are always good bets.
6) The slow erosion of any civil liberties is highly desirable to any enlightened state. It also grants the administration easy access to the private lives of the citizen in order to keep any small dissention down. An eavesdropping, informant network comprised of a small force of agents that create incentives for the greater populace to do the work for them seems to be a good method to model. Technology has always been embraced as a means to aid in this endeavor.
7) Control of the mass media is essential to any plan. The control of information controls the people. Tell them only what you must; black out anything that can do you harm, and use the medium to spread your propaganda easily and efficiently, when doing so please refer back to rule number 1.
8) Finally to put yourself in a position where the implementation of the above is a possibility it is highly important that you use the established form of politics; electoral, military or royalty, use it to your advantage and give your administration legitimacy or these guidelines will never be of any use.
Sick puppies
This week I seem to have have received a lot of sick jokes. I know not why. The cleanest ones were;
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bandit.
Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
And a Mr Possee special - Why do women always cry after sex? Mace.
When i rule the world
A lot of people have been asking me lately just how I managed to get so great. Well, it doesn't come easy - unlike the rough hewn charm. But I've decided to let you on a few trade secrets, starting with the all important Rule No 1.