This Months Hero / True & False

This Months Hero Is Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf


COALITION QUOTE: "Our forces are moving through southern Iraq."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "The American forces were all destroyed in the Gulf of Mexico by the hand of Allah."
COALITION QUOTE: "We are engaging Iraqi hostiles with armored divisions and air support."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "Our mighty army has crushed the Americans, who are now committing suicide by voluntarily choking to death on either others' semen."
COALITION QUOTE: "After sustaining a direct hit from a rocket-propelled grenade, we returned fire and destroyed an Iraqi barracks."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "The Americans decided to blow up a hospital full of innocent children who were waiting for heart transplants and UN-approved eyeball replacements."
COALITION QUOTE: "We have recently captured and secured the Baghdad airport."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "Every single American in the world was recently smitten when Allah blew a fireball out of his hands and caused all the infidels to combust. Then Allah climbed into his candy-powered jet plane and flew to Pluto, a planet which may or may not exist according to my religion."
COALITION QUOTE: "Our forces are now able to move freely throughout Baghdad at will."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "American forces have invaded the wrong Iraq. I mean, I'm like sitting here in Iraq and everybody's happy and staring at dirt or whatever they normally do all day here, and I don't see shit. I don't know what Iraq they claimed to have invaded, but it's clearly the wrong Iraq. I'm drinking gin and lemonade here in my lawn chair, listening to some crazy music featuring a guy who screams a lot, and there's not a single American anywhere, and I even looked behind that phone booth across the street."
COALITION QUOTE: "We have liberated Iraq from Saddam Hussein."
IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF RESPONSE: "America and dry land are myths."



THINGS TO BELIEVE IN AND THINGS TO NOT

TRUE

The Lizard Equine Conspiracy
Atlantis
The Lost World Of Aghartha


FALSE

Evolution
Outer Space
Gravity